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  • Job seeking vs dating

    Lately I have been working with clients looking at their career plans for the new year and occasionally the conversation has moved in the direction of relationships and how finding the right job is a bit like finding the right partner in life. Interestingly enough, I’m also studying dating coaching, not for any other reason than I’m just curious as to how much of the process we use for career success compliments dating success. Considering 40% of our happiness comes from what we do every day (Lyubomirsky), being our job our relationships, happiness is the key to our long term health and wellbeing.

    So, I thought I’d share some of the things that overlap:

    Job

    Dating

    Vision Knowing my overall vision of my ideal life and how my ideal job will fit into that vision. Knowing my overall vision of my ideal life and how my ideal relationship will fit into that vision.
    Values Knowing what our deal breakers vs nice to haves are the types of things we value in a job, for example scientific work, contribution to society, working with children, managing other, influencing others or teaching others. Knowing what our deal breakers are, vs nice to haves: addiction-free, trust, honesty, loyalty, compassion, freedom, love, fun, family, creativity, health and financial stability.
    Personality Profile- for example Myers Briggs Type Indicator Knowing personality traits and what is a natural way of operating helps us to identify what types of roles could be a natural fit for our working style. It also helps us to identify how we operate and how to adjust our style to work with our boss and other colleagues. For example, if you have a risk averse style you may not want to work in a high risk and unsafe job. Knowing our personality helps us to identify our motivators and natural way of being. It helps us to then identify who might be a natural fit for us and then how to adjust our style. For example, you may have a risk averse style, but might like being around someone more fun and spontaneous. Knowing what your looking for and what questions to ask a potential partner come from understanding our own style and in most relationships we look for someone to compliment us so opposites attract!
    Red thread Being able to see the patterns of previous jobs and what the core elements are that have helped you enjoy each role. Eg, do you incorporate similar tasks into each job? If you like working with numbers do you notice a pattern of bringing working with budgets into each role? What common patters do you notice in your relationships, right from when you were a child through to today? Do you notice elements of your early relationships with your parents or siblings are reflective of elements in your adult relationships? For example, have you had to accommodate a siblings emotional behaviour when you were young? Have you accommodated unacceptable behaviour from previous partner?
    The interview For an interview both parties need to be interviewing each other to find out if they’re the right fir for each other. The job description outlines what the right candidate for the role should ideally look like. Sometime they won’t meet the entire criteria but if the person meets most of the criteria and the values of the organisation, this would be considered a pretty good fit. Are you interviewing  potential partners like you would a job or do you just see if there is chemistry and if you get along? If we don’t make conscious choices and write down the criteria of the ideal partner, then it’s like going into a job without knowing who the company are really looking for and if you they’re good fit for you. Ask the person what their values are, what are their deal breakers, what are their expectations in a relationship.

    So, if you wondering if you’re dating the right person, have a look at the type of conscious choices you have made about your career. Most people put more effort into deciding on their next holiday destination or their next car purchase than they do about their next career move or dating plans.

    When we start making conscious choices and living our lives toward the vision of our ideal life we can start living to our true potential.

    If you would like to explore your job vs career vision, values, personality profile or red thread contact us for an appointment.


    Jane Anderson is a Certified Career and Executive Coach based in Brisbane Australia. She has been featured as the “job Whisperer” on Today Tonight, in CLEO magazine and Brisbane Business News. She is the Director of Inside Out Training and Coaching who specialise in Career Coaching for Individuals and Employee Engagement and High Performance using the Science of Happiness at Work Program. She can be reached at admin@insideoutcoach.com.au or (07) 3841 7772

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